What if I told you that everything you suffer from and every ounce of pain you feel could completely go away? Most peoples' responses would be something along the lines of "Oh that could never happen to me!" or "This is just something I have to deal with and handle for the rest of my life." And that's an issue. We need to believe the opposite! It is possible to get over anything, and it all starts with believing you can. Miracles exist, and there's probably one waiting for you!
While pain may not completely go away for some of us, it can go mostly away. But somehow we settle for the unendurable amount of pain we feel because "there's no way it could ever completely go away." And yet, it does. And if you suffer from anxiety or depression like I do, let me tell you of a surety that there is a way to lighten your burden. Significantly. Circumstances will always change, it isn't what is happening around you that's the problem. When you say "when I accomplish this or move here I'll be happy" or when you think you'll have it made when you just meet your goals, you're stopping yourself from finding true joy. Once you achieve your goals, you'll find something else to worry about, or you'll sit there wondering why you're not happy because, after all, you've put in the effort, right? But that's the problem. We make happiness the end game when it should be the journey. And when we finally reach what we think is the end game, we haven't been fostering that happiness along the way- we've been waiting for it. Choose to be happy now instead of later. We see happiness as a concept. We grow attached to the idea of it, but we never really work toward it. We think that we can get happiness if we get what we want, and that's just not true.
So how do we experience joy now? The problem we have in this world is that we think we have to just deal with what we're dealt. The unfortunate mentality that comes with the majority of society, and often times treatment, is that we can't help the way we feel or who we are. While experiences and feelings are valid, we can choose to change who we are, what we do, and in turn, how we feel. We resist what the world throws at us, and we bicker and complain. We become upset and anxious, and we worry about the future. A word of advice: Don't resist the way life pushes you. It is trying to HELP you! This is the first step towards finding joy. The second would be to trust, specifically that you'll be okay and that everything is working out for your good. Trust that you aren't getting what you want now for something you will want more in the future. The third step would be finally believing everything that you've been hoping for and trusting in.
We hardly ever succeed at our first attempts to change ourselves. This isn't something to get upset about. Never be upset with yourself, just acknowledge you were trying your best, and find a more effective way to change. With that being said, trying to cope with something isn't the same as trying to get better. Trying to cope often entails sitting with whatever feeling is holding you down, while trying to get better entails fighting to get rid of what is holding you down. Sadly, trying to just cope actually requires more energy than the alternative of trying to get better. And trying to get better is more of an action of letting go when you truly figure it out. You let go of the darkness, even though it feels at the time like it is holding you with a rope around your neck.
The thing is, despite how much you think you want to be happy or get better, you actually don't. That pain and darkness, though painful, still gives you something you want, and that is why we get stuck in the same cycles and patterns. Once you find out what it is you're wanting, you'll realize that there are better ways to get it. But the problem is that we don't always see the reasons for why we won't budge or move on. Whether it's validation, people stroking your ego, addictive behavior, attention, not wanting to admit your pride, putting blame on everything in the universe except yourself for the way you feel, etc., there is a reason that you've decided you won't move.
Trying is enough if you do it correctly. But when you're trying in the wrong way, it will actually set you farther back than when you started. The moment you let whatever plagues you be the reason you feel a certain way, you're going to find an infinite amount of problems with the world and your self-esteem. Take responsibility for you being the reason that you feel the way you do. Acknowledge that it is actually you that is setting you back instead of life.
You might say that I'm ignorant or naive, but I've been through my fair share of depression. I am telling you that there is a way out, but you have to tread through it. As someone who has recently come out of a lifelong depression, I am now, for the first time, experiencing light and joy. And trust me, there is a way for anyone to experience it.
Life Tip #3: From the other side, I implore you, try a little harder. But for goodness sake do it right! Put your energy into uplifting yourself instead of wasting your energy by bringing yourself down. The question is, are you serious about getting better? You can't wait around for happiness, because it's already waiting for you! Happiness is in the right place, but you aren't yet. You're the one who has to move!
No comments:
Post a Comment